Why I became a "Dog Trainer"

Where I Began

I've loved animals my entire life. When I was young my dream was to be a vet, like many kids. Then came dreams of a career as a scientist, zoologist, herpetologist, botanist, anything related to nature and life. I wanted to understand animals and researched endlessly. Throughout my life I've had most animals you could think of, and caring for them was my passion. My love of dogs first began with the addition of my childhood family dog, Buster. 

The Dogs of My Life and How They Taught Me

When Buster came along my family really didn't know much about dogs. We read a book about shih-tzus and a puppy training manual, and thought that was all there was to learn. Buster was a happy, smart, and friendly dog, but he had lifelong issues with multiple parts of daily life because we didn't know any better. 

Many years later came Rinna, a Siberian Husky. She was a family dog, but was meant mostly for me. With Rinna, I tried my best to learn training skills. I taught her to run next to me as I biked many miles a day. It became her job and she loved every moment. She expected her daily bike rides and paced howling at the back door as soon as the evening temperature dropped. As I walked my bike to the fence Rinna would dart over, putting her head through her harness and waiting patiently for it to be buckled. Rinna often picked our routes and I was thankful for her decision making. She loved hopping into my arms to swing at the park, and one of the best parts of our adventures: she pulled me up hills as I held onto her pulling harness. We were flying!

While we were such amazing biking partners, there were many things I didn't do right with Rinna due to not knowing better. Me and Rinna were in a tough situation with my parents. I was forced to reprimand her for her antics more harshly than I ever wanted to. It never worked, she was a teenage Husky! I was blamed for her "misbehavior", so I desperately tried to find a better way to teach her. I learned a lot from Rinna. She was a stubborn, calm, wise and independent girl. 

I continued to learn from Jasper, a puppy mill Golden Retriever who even at 8 weeks old barked and howled in neverending fear in most environments. He had the worst genetic anxiety I'd ever seen! Jasper was the sweetest boy but he had many quirks and was a superglue dog. He never left my mother's side and he took in and mirrored all of her stress and anxiety. It was hard to feel like Jasper was living a comfortable life through his anxiety, but we were continually searching for new ways to help him, training, medically, and in daily life.

Katydid, a backyard-bred Chihuahua Cocker Spaniel mix who resembled a tiny cavalier came into my life a while after I graduated high school. I had a decent idea of training and my dream and goal of becoming a dog trainer was growing. We were inseparable. Katydid loved learning many tricks and daily maintenance behaviors- such as holding still to brush her teeth and tangled cottony fur every night. I had conversations with her and we had a routine that we loved. Katydid had an anxious side that showed primarily through alarm barking and a fear of men that increased as she grew up, and we worked through a lot together. Heartbreakingly at age 1.5 I was forced to find a new home for Katydid, and it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. 

I required a service dog for my deteriorating physical abilities and CPTSD, and I was not permitted to own multiple dogs. Katy would have been with me through it all and I miss her still. I believe dogs are family, sentient beings with memories as sharp as our own.

Into my life came Wilson, a rescue 7 month old standard poodle and my prospective service dog. I later came to find out he had never been left alone in his life and a neighbor kept him company him whenever his owner left the house. The separation anxiety in Wilson was heartwrenching. He broke his teeth trying to chew out of a metal crate, and destroyed many restraints trying to find his mental version of safety. He learned amazingly as a beginning service dog in training, and was working on becoming comfortable in public, but after four months it was clear that becoming an assistance dog wasn't a role Wilson would thrive in. Tasking didn't come naturally to him and ultimately, his worst fear ultimately led to "washing out" as a service dog prospect. The culprit? Grocery store freezer aisles. I imagine it must've been a sound from them that we can't hear. It terrified Wilson and his fear only increased. 

The pricey trainer I was working with tried "flooding" Wilson, dragging him into the aisles he feared. I knew in that moment that his career was over before it started. After that day, Wilson shut down in public and his fears of freezers meant he would not even enter a grocery store. I never hired that trainer again, but for Wilson this role was asking him to live a life that wasn't right for him. Wilson found a fitting pet home and he was very happy and secure with his family. Through working with my Wilsey-Boy, I learned so much more. I also continued to learn what I valued and needed in a trainer to help me with my own dogs, and the list of I wanted to avoid grew as well.

The Dog Who Guided My Purpose

Arlen, my heart dog who's taught me everything about life and immersed me fully in the world of dogs, was born in the beginning of 2016. He's seven now. When I decided a Golden Retriever would be my perfect companion I researched breeders nonstop for months. I found an amazing ethical breeder several states away, and a 14 hour trip home was nothing compared to the 10+ years we'd spend together! I prepared in every way I could to be the best mentor and mom I could be to the important little fluffball who would be by my side.

From square one we were a team. I discussed everything with him, explained everything to him, and he understood so much. Little 8-week-old Arlen was enthralled by people and daily living. As we documented our life and progress on Instagram, we became friends with so many other handlers and trainers, and learned so much from each other. We shared so much, and my passion and knowledge grew and grew. 

I spent endless hours studying, researching articles, books, attending training expos, and soaking in other trainers' knowledge, finally deciding to take the leap into my deepest passion and calling: becoming a dog trainer. It's been seven years since that decision cemented in my mind.

The Seven Years of Preparation

I held private training classes here and there and met many different dogs. Throughout the years of studying my philosophy became clearer and clearer. What I know and believe about dogs. How I understand them. What I understand them to be. How to communicate with them, and how to understand their language- because they're constantly communicating back at us too. I studied and learned. Through attending classes and workshops, I saw so many trainers with different processes and views, some I agreed with and some I definitely didn't. I struggled with imposter syndrome, fearing I didn't know enough to dive into the training world.

Then one course solidified my dreams and belief of PawPerception. The most confirming and game-changing knowledge came with Kim Brophey's L.E.G.S. Ethology course. It brought everything together. Everything I'd come to know to be true about dogs. A knowledge I finally fully agreed with, backed by science and people who've studied the most amazing deep experiences when it comes to dogs and all other life. Everything that's so important: the learning, environment, genetics, and individual self of a dog. It's all a part of them, and it's SO much deeper than that. Through the course I attained my Family Dog Mediator certification, and it's a title I'm so proud to have. 

It's All Led to Now

Now, finally, after so many years of preparation, PawPerception is coming to life. My life's calling, my passion, I want to teach you and teach your dog. I want to help illuminate the world's perception of what a dog is and what they deserve, who they are, what they've been trying to tell you all along. 

'Cause they have been trying to talk to you all along... it took me so many years and so many mistakes to learn to hear them. If I had the knowledge I have now, I could've done better by all the dogs through my life to this point. I could've given them a better life, a better start, a better future. 

I want to help you learn to hear them too, learn to hear your dog and become the family you both love and deserve. Because you both deserve it, you both need it. Your dog needs to learn to understand the world that they've been thrown into. And you need to understand the dog that's in your life. If I'm harsh or blunt when it comes to discussing certain things with clients, it's because I'm passionate about what I do and first and foremost I will advocate for the dog. PawPerception is more than learning how to sit. It's learning how to live in the world together.

-Kai, FDM